You’ve been bitten by a zombie??? I can help with that!!

Since the article about tactical medical treatment was well received, I thought I should continue in that same area. Penetrating wounds can be very ugly, but one of the ugliest wounds a person can receive is a bite from a zombie.  Zombie mouths are very unclean, and these bites almost always result in secondary infection.  Treating the initial wound is pretty straightforward.  This type of first aid is covered in the most basic kits, even the ten dollar “Band-Aid and Aspirin” kits available at the big box stores.  We’ll cover primary and secondary treatments in this article.

Primary Treatment:

Bite wounds can be pretty minor all the way to serious injuries.  Luckily, humans don’t have really sharp teeth or long canines.  It takes a lot of force to break the skin.  Typically the result is bruising more than cutting or tearing.  For bruising, simply wash the affected area with soap and water and administer a pain reliever for pain.  You can also apply ice to reduce pain and swelling.  Remember, you never want to apply ice directly to the skin.  If there is some bleeding or torn skin, the area will still need to be washed well with a good anti-bacterial soap and water.  Once the area is cleaned thoroughly and dried, you can proceed with basic first aid.  A simple bandage should do nicely to keep the wound covered.

 

Secondary Treatment:

The good news about these types of injuries is that they most often occur on hands and/or limbs.  The likelihood of the actual bite being fatal is pretty slim.  The bad news is the potential for infection.  Bites from humans or animals are nasty enough, but if that bite is from a zombie, the resulting infection is bad news.  If you are treating a victim for a zombie bite and the skin has been broken, your victim is almost certainly infected.  The incubation period is 12 to 24 hours.  After this time, your victim is technically deceased, but is probably still moving, moaning, and trying to violently bite you.  At this point, treatment involves destroying the victim’s brain.  Firearms work best, and I prefer .40 caliber handguns and .30 caliber rifles.  Use what works best for you.

 

 

*Disclaimer: While the section on primary treatment of bite wound is sound advice, the secondary treatment is written for comic purposes.  I do not condone shooting anyone in the head.  However, if the person really has become the walking dead, please handle the situation as you deem necessary. And please let me know as soon as possible so I can bug out to an undisclosed location away from population centers.

3 Responses to You’ve been bitten by a zombie??? I can help with that!!

  • Nick Carter says:

    Although nothing really helps long-term with a zombie bite, I’ve been interested in these posts on first aid. Any chance you could do one about amputations in primitive conditions?

    On the topic of bites, viper bites are a particular concern of mine, since fer-de-lances are everywhere where I work, and they’re aggressive, territorial, smart (for snakes), and well-camouflaged. Their young go out to make their way in the world in the summer, and since they haven’t learned to control the dose of venom they deliver, they’re especially dangerous. Antivenin is great as far as it goes, but you have to keep dosing yourself every few hours until you get to a hospital–and once you’re there, they’ll probably keep giving you the same thing every few hours for the next two or three days. All of which is to say, if you’re somewhere very remote, without enough antivenin to make it to civilization in time, and you’re obliged for some viper-related reason to cut off some part of yourself, what’s the best way to go about it? What products should I have in my first aid kit next summer, just in case? How do you control bleeding from a severed limb and also prepare for real medical treatment later on? Let’s assume I’m with a couple of other guys, and we’ve got machetes but no immediate access to wheeled transportation.

  • Justin says:

    Nick,
    I can surely dig up some information on snake, insect, and spider bites. It’s on my list of topics to cover, and I’ll certainly do what I can. I’m not familiar with fer-de-lances, which is probably not surprising considering the exotic locations you work in. As far as amputations in a primitive conditions, I will have to really research and talk to some medical professionals before I would feel comfortable posting information for public consumption. I will say right off the bat that a femoral artery bleed is probably the fastest way to die, even with immediate access to modern medical care. The amount and speed of blood loss is almost incomprehensible. We’re talking less than a minute to be fatal if the artery is completely severed. A massive dose of QuikClot and fast application of a very strong tourniquet is the best bet for survival, but even then its iffy. Amputation of an arm would be just as serious.
    Limbs were commonly amputated during the Civil War and even earlier, so I know it can be done with primitive medical technology. I’m pretty sure I have a book floating around somewhere about primitive medicine.

  • AwPhuch says:

    If someone in your group is chomped on by a zombie…isolate them..otherwise…you just invited one of the walking dead into your group…you are zombie fodder…you and them just don’t know it yet!!

    (would you be offended or relived if a zombie walks up to you moaning “Braiiiiins” takes a look, then walks past you?)

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